the mind geek

obsessed with mental health

I am not immune

I’m usually pretty cocky when it comes to my recovery. I think of it as rock solid. Mental illness? I ain’t doing that again.

But then-

I had a brush, just a brush, with mental fragility.

Over the course of a week, a number of triggers came together at once and formed a potent cocktail. I felt things chipping away at me, at first subtly, then almost constantly.

This culminated in a moment where I could see the possibility of being unwell again. I could see the cliff. I don’t think I was actually on the brink of it, thank God, but I could see it. For the first time in a long time, I thought, maybe things could push me there, and maybe I would jump and fall. This moment was scarier than all of the triggers together. It put me face to face with my vulnerability.

I take this as a very important lesson.

I am recovered, but am not immune. 

I must not take my mental wellbeing for granted, or stop looking after it actively.

(things turned around the week after)

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One comment on “I am not immune

  1. mindovermediablog
    March 26, 2016

    I think of mental illness like that of diabetes. There are patients who are very good at controlling their sugar levels up to a point they don’t need medications or u can control it very well with medications. But u don’t get cured from it. As a diabetic pt u always have to be aware that u r prone to high or low sugar level. Just like mental illness, its important to always keep our emotions stable to feel normal

    Like

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This entry was posted on March 6, 2016 by in On my mind and tagged , , , , .

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