obsessed with mental health
I’m usually pretty cocky when it comes to my recovery. I think of it as rock solid. Mental illness? I ain’t doing that again.
I had a brush, just a brush, with mental fragility.
Over the course of a week, a number of triggers came together at once and formed a potent cocktail. I felt things chipping away at me, at first subtly, then almost constantly.
This culminated in a moment where I could see the possibility of being unwell again. I could see the cliff. I don’t think I was actually on the brink of it, thank God, but I could see it. For the first time in a long time, I thought, maybe things could push me there, and maybe I would jump and fall. This moment was scarier than all of the triggers together. It put me face to face with my vulnerability.
I take this as a very important lesson.
I am recovered, but am not immune.
I must not take my mental wellbeing for granted, or stop looking after it actively.
(things turned around the week after)